Syracuse University — an institution of veritas — will close its 2009 gridiron campaign this Saturday against the University of Connecticut — an institution of invalidity. As the contest will fall within the extended Thanksgiving Day Weekend, it is anticipated that many members of the Orange Empire will travel to East Hartford, Connecticut to witness the event in stunning reality.
In order to assist Syracuse partisans find acclimation at Rentschler Field on Saturday, the below stadium map and accompanying guide should provide all relevant information necessary to enjoy the sunset of the Orange’s football season:
ITEM A: University of Connecticut Student Section
Literacy prohibited. The stadium authority also prohibits polysyllabic phrases within the area.
ITEM B: University of Connecticut Cheerleaders
Please do not look directly into their feedbags.
ITEM C: University of Connecticut Football Field
Grazing area for ITEM B.
ITEM D: University of Connecticut Head Coach Randy Edsall
Traitorous traitor.
ITEM E: Non-Alcoholic Section
Two-beer minimum.
ITEM F: Football Field End Zone
UConn Huskies prohibited.
ITEM G: The African-American UConn Huskies Fan
His name is Jeff Fielding.
ITEM H: Assholes
Please use caution in these areas. These fans generally believe that beating the University of Notre Dame in football is impressive.
ITEM I: Tailgating Lot A
“Squirrel-fryin’ territory.”
ITEM J: Tailgating Lot B
Tractor parking only. “No shirt, no shoes, no shame.”

Posted by Hoya Suxa
Posted by Hoya Suxa
Posted by Hoya Suxa 