Syracuse Football Season Forecast (Part I)

Preseason college football prognostications have become the potage du jour recently.  With the collegiate season kicking off in less than two days, virtually every medium of information has contributed in some manner to the deluge of analysis.

At the forefront of such predictions has been the overall distaste for what Syracuse University — the torchbearer of consciousness and clarity — will put on the gridiron this year.  While such somber opinions of the Orange are likely attributable to an intense conspiracy of propaganda funded by Boston College and are, therefore, the equivalent of deep-fried horse droppings, the estimations do require rebuttal.

First, Syracuse University is in the business of educating certified geniuses.  Unmitigated success on the gridiron is only a secondary pursuit.  Et tu, Pennsylvania State University?

Second, the expectations by members of the above-referenced conspiracy are, in totem, necessarily without merit.  The only reliable forecaster of Syracuse athletic performance is the Hoya Suxa Action Weather Team.  Powered by the Orange 44000 Super Incredible Doppler Radar, our trained team of professionals (i.e., non-Johns Hopkins graduates) have rendered the following forecast for the first-half of Syracuse’s 2008 football campaign:

Hoya Suxa How To: Applying to Georgetown

Last Friday, U.S. News and World Report released the 2009 edition of its annual college rankings.  Through various methods of payola and dastardliness, Georgetown University claimed the 23rd position in this year’s ratings.

For the record, the University of Connecticut was given a Certificate of Participation and ranked somewhere in the low “Who Cares?”

In an effort to discover what it takes to hold such a vaunted spot, I was curious as to the requirements for admission to Georgetown.  As it turns out, Georgetown maintains quite a rigorous selection process, cutting the wheat from the chaff as early as the initial application process.  

For your review, this year’s undergraduate admission application:

Georgetown University Undergraduate Application Form 2009-20010

To all the “Thurstons,” “Connors,” and “Charlestons” out there, Congratulations: may your tenure at Georgetown be long, prosperous, and devoid of any semblance of charisma.